How to Recover from Burnout as an Anxious Perfectionist
Living in a fast-paced environment like NY can be motivating, but the high standards and constant hustle can quickly feel exhausting. Keeping up with everything is exciting—there’s always something to do or another goal to work towards—but it can leave you feeling like you’re not doing enough (and like you never will, because there’s always more to do).
For anxious perfectionists, all of this can feel even more overwhelming. You push yourself to meet high standards, even when it’s unsustainable, and burnout starts to creep in—but you keep going, thinking it’s the only option. If this sounds familiar, I get it. And I see this all the time in my private practice as a therapist for perfectionists.
Managing burnout can be tough, but it’s never too late to make changes. While recovering from burnout is complex—and working with a therapist is one of the best ways to address it—here are some strategies I work on with clients who are navigating perfectionism, anxiety, and burnout:
Recognize Signs of Burnout
The first step to managing burnout is recognizing it. You can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s happening, right? Burnout can sneak up on you, especially if you’re used to pushing through whatever you’re feeling just to get the job done. It can show up in both physical and emotional ways—and sometimes it’s more subtle than you think. I talk more about burnout in my last couple of blogs, so check out How Perfectionism and Anxiety Lead to Burnout and Signs of Burnout if you want to understand it better before diving into the next steps.
Keep in mind that burnout doesn’t happen overnight—it builds up over time—and recognizing burnout early makes it easier to manage before it takes. But hey, if you’re already feeling pretty crispy, it’s not too late! Learning to notice and recognize signs of burnout is the first step.
Identify Contributors
Once you’ve recognized burnout, the next step is to figure out what’s causing it. There are a lot of factors that can contribute, and it’s important to dig a little deeper to understand the root cause in your own life. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to get started:
Does my life align with my values and goals? Take a step back and really think about whether your job, daily, activities, and lifestyle are in line with what you truly care about. Are you spending time on things that actually matter to you, or are you saying “yes” to everything and just ticking boxes?
How am I spending my downtime? I get it—you’re exhausted, so all you want to do is doomscroll on IG, binge-watch Netflix, or zone out. But does that really recharge you? Or maybe you’re pushing yourself to be constantly productive, leaving no time to rest and recharge, or getting stuck in the “work hard, play hard” mentality that leaves you needing constant recovery.
How do I feel at work? Are you micromanaged, underpaid, or just plain overwhelmed? Is your commute taking up way too much of your time and energy? And let’s be real: Are perfectionistic standards playing a role in how much you’re taking on or how you’re viewing your work?
What’s missing in my life? Is there something you used to enjoy—like a hobby or activity—that you’ve put on the backburner? Are you marking fun activities as things you’ll do when you have time… but you just never seem to have that time?
Is venting helping or hurting? We all need to vent sometimes—it feels good to talk things through with someone who gets it. But notice when venting is just feeding into that negative spiral rather than helping you feel better.
Make Structural Changes to Your Life
It’s tough to make progress when you’re still in an environment that’s contributing to burnout. So, it’s important to look for areas in your life where you can make structural shifts—changes that go beyond surface-level fixes. This can feel tough for anxious perfectionists, because it means giving yourself permission to change things up and take care of yourself, which will probably feel uncomfortable and foreign.
While large changes are often the most helpful, they’re not always doable right away. So keep in mind that even small, manageable changes can add up to something meaningful, and the right changes can have a big impact on getting us out of the burnout cycle.
I often work with my clients on clarifying their priorities, noticing where they’re putting their effort because they believe they’re “supposed to,” and assessing whether staying stuck where they are is worth what they’re giving up (for example, time, energy, or relationships).
At Work
If your job is a major contributor to burnout, take a look at which aspects are draining you the most. In many cases, making some adjustments at work can make a big difference. Here are some shifts you can consider:
More boundaries! – There are lots of opportunities for boundary-setting at work, even in many of the tougher work settings. For instance, if you can, make it a rule for yourself not to check work emails outside of work. And if that’s not an option, consider setting limits on how often you’ll check. Having a hard stop at the end of your workday, where you shut off everything, can also be useful.
Adjust your work schedule – If your mind seems to work better at certain times of day, or you struggle with waking up early on your in-office days, asking for an adjusted work schedule or other accommodations like changing your WFH days might be an option. If it’s not, see where there’s room to work on tasks at different times of that day that fit better with your focus and energy levels.
Speak up about your workload – Often, we assume others expect a lot of us, especially as anxious perfectionists, so we don’t even ask whether adjustments can be made. But in many cases, your boss or manager may have no idea how overwhelming your workload is (probably because you’ve seemed to handle it so well this far). Speaking up—just asking—gives you the opportunity to see if it’s possible to make changes
Delegate more often – If you tend to take on a lot and don’t ask for help, this is a good opportunity to check in on that habit. Is there anything that could be delegated but you take it on anyway just because you’re used to it, assume others will think less of you if you delegate, or worry others won’t do well enough?
Maybe you’ve tried everything you can, or you’ve thought about it for quite a while, and decided that finding a new job (if your current job is a huge source of stress and overwork) or career (if you’re realizing this just isn’t the right career for you) is the best move. That might be a great change to make, but of course that’s not always doable (I get it! The economy and job market are tough right now, NY rent is way too high, and honestly you might just not be ready to make that big change). If those are changes you recognize are important but aren’t ready or able to make that move right now, you can start by planning for the future and identifying small steps to take for now. Whether that’s planning out a big career change or shifting to a different workplace, this gives you something to look forward to and work towards. In the meantime, prioritizing more of what makes you feel excited or capable in your day-to-day can slowly rebuild your confidence and energy.
In Your Personal Life
If your personal calendar is full of social obligations and other responsibilities, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed and ultimately burned out. Being busy (with the right things) can be fun, and you certainly don’t have to give up everything you’re doing. But often, there are bigger changes to be made. Here are a few ideas:
I’ll say it again—More boundaries! Maybe you’re the one your family turns to to navigate issues that come up (or maybe you just step right in if that’s been your role). You might notice a pattern of taking on too much responsibility for the people and things around you, so saying “no” here and there can be powerful. Boundaries in our personal lives don’t have to be hard limits, but rather guidelines on what’s manageable for us and opportunities to create more room to breathe and actually enjoy what we’re doing.
Express your needs – If it feels really vulnerable to express your needs, read my blog on embracing vulnerability as a perfectionist. Letting people know how you’re feeling is an important part of overcoming burnout, so you’re not doing yet another thing all on your own. And ultimately, you’ll never know how other people will show up for you until you express what you need.
Schedule downtime and self-care – Making downtime a consistent part of your schedule (yes, actually schedule it!), for instance 1 day a week or once every other week, can be a game changer. It doesn’t have to be the whole day either. And if you tend to feel guilty about downtime, remember that having space to rest and reset is actually an essential part of keeping yourself going. Even just a little time to yourself, where you don’t have to worry about anyone or anything, can help you reset.
Schedule time in between commitments – If every weekend you’re going straight from brunch with your best friends, to food shopping and cleaning your apartment, to drinks with your old college roommate, without any real breaks in between, that’s probably a recipe for exhaustion. Having transition time between events or other commitments—even if that “commitment” is just chill friend time—can give you space to rest and reset, mentally prepare, reflect on what you just did before moving on, and more.
Do more of the things that make you happy – It’s easy to make time for all the things you feel like you’re “supposed” to do, and often much harder to make time time for the things you love that have no real purpose other than making you happy. Maybe that’s getting creative, going on a walk with no destination, or dancing around your living room with your best friend. Whatever it is, making time for the fun stuff is just as important as almost everything else in your life.
Remember that having an unsustainable schedule will only worsen burnout—even if it’s full of things you enjoy.
Create Daily Self-Care Habits
Self-care isn’t just a buzzword or something to fit in when you “have time.” It’s a daily practice that supports your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Building long-term habits that help you reset and regain your energy is an important part of managing burnout. Keep in mind that self-care on its own isn’t enough to fix burnout (this is where those structural changes we talked about play a big role), but it’s an important part of preventing burnout, managing overwhelm, and working towards burnout recovery. I wrote more about self-care in another blog post, Self-Care for Perfectionists on the Go, but here are some important pieces of self-care to consider:
Prioritize Your Physical Health – Taking care of your physical health is one of the most basic, but also one of the most important, thing you can do. But, it’s also one of the things that many of us, especially many anxious perfectionists, tend to let go of first when we’re feeling overwhelmed or drained. Prioritizing things like your nutrition, exercise, and going to the doctor can have a major positive impact when we’re dealing with burnout. And yes, that means carving out time for lunch. Every day.
Take Care of Your Mental Health – Therapy, journaling, leaning on social support, leaning into creativity, meditation, mindfulness activities, and calming walks are just a few of the ways you can do this. Finding calming places, things, and people, can be a helpful addition to your daily life. Looking for moments of joy throughout your day or week can also be a powerful practice—as humans we tend to overlook these things as it is, but as anxious perfectionists it’s especially important to turn our attention to those joyful experiences.
Build Rest into Your Routine – Whether it’s short, 5-minute breaks throughout your day or longer breaks, make this a daily part of your routine. This also includes taking time off when you’re sick, and planning PTO (even if you just use it for a staycation). Rest might also include taking breaks from your phone and social media too.
Engage in Activities That Recharge You – For many people, it’s easy to disconnect from enjoyable activities, friends, partners, and family, when they’re feeling burned out, which ultimately just contributes to more burnout. Start doing more of what you love—if you’re low on energy, even small things are great. Giving yourself things to look forward to also makes your days and weeks feel a bit lighter.
Set Boundaries and Practice Saying “No” – I talked about this earlier, but it’s worth re-stating—boundaries are essential in protecting your energy and time, by keeping your mindful of your own limits. Learning to manage negative reactions to boundaries is a helpful skill to work on along the way.
Practice Self-Compassion – Feeding into negative self-talk only worsens burnout and keeps you feeling stuck. Practice noticing more of what you are doing well at, even small wins, and practice speaking kindly to yourself. If that doesn’t come naturally to you (if doesn’t for most of us), keep at it—it takes time to learn new ways of supporting yourself. Therapy for perfectionists can also help you unpack what’s getting in the way and learn how to treat yourself with more kindness.
Shift Your Mindset
A big part of preventing or recovering from burnout is shifting our mindset. Without these shifts, it’s hard to make and stick to the changes that will actually help you feel better. One of the most important things to work on is managing your expectations of yourself. If you don’t, you’ll find yourself stuck in the same patterns, no matter where you go.
Regularly checking in on your mindset around work, your role, and other parts of your life can make a difference over time. For instance, how do you view your job? Is it just a means to an end, or do you see it as the center of everything? In your personal life, if you notice perfectionistic or people-pleasing tendencies showing up, ask yourself: what are you giving up by giving in to them?
Try paying attention to some of these things in your daily life, to start rethinking your perspective and make more intentional choices moving forward. Notice:
Where you’re putting heavy expectations on yourself – Even if others reinforce it, ask yourself where that pressure’s really coming from. Notice where perfectionism might be coming in.
When you’re comparing yourself to others – It’s easy to get caught up in comparison, especially in today’s world, but it drains your energy and keeps you from focusing on your own experience.
If you’re getting stuck in black and white thinking – For instance, “I either have to stay and suffer at my job or everything else will fall apart.” This kind of thinking limits your options and keeps you stuck.
If you tend to take on a martyr mindset – Are you always the one sacrificing, even when others aren’t? Does it really need to be that way?
Where you can start accepting your limits – You don’t have to love your limits, but finding peace with them is an important step in reducing burnout.
What aspects of your mindset are harming you instead of helping you – Many of these thought patterns started as ways to protect us, but over time they can end up doing more harm than good. It’s important to recognize when they’re no longer serving you.
The small wins in your day-to-day – It’s not about pretending everything’s perfect, but about recognizing the successes or moments you might usually overlook: a positive interaction, a task you finished, or even just taking a moment to breathe.
Areas of your life where you’re putting in more effort than you’re getting back – (Hint: this just might be your job!) It’s not about doing less, but about being mindful of how much you’re putting in and whether it’s truly worth what you’re getting back.
Preventing Burnout One Step at a Time
Preventing burnout is an ongoing process of checking in with yourself and making adjustments. I know it can feel overwhelming, and it might seem easier to just give in. But think about it—you’re already spending so much energy on burnout. Why not redirect that energy into working on ways to manage it instead? Taking small, consistent steps can get you feeling better in the long run.
Looking for a Way Out of Burnout? Therapy for Perfectionists Can Help!
Burnout doesn’t have to be your baseline—even if it feels like it’s crept in so slowly you barely noticed. If you’re always chasing the next goal, constantly overthinking, or running on empty, you’re not alone. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who specializes in therapy for perfectionists, I work with anxious perfectionists to identify what’s fueling burnout, figure out what’s actually sustainable, and make space for rest and self-compassion. Therapy for perfectionists can help you understand your limits without judging them, shift the patterns that keep you overextended, and build a way forward that actually supports your well-being. If you’re ready to stop running on fumes and start feeling like yourself again, let’s talk.
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You don’t have to push through it—burnout is something you’re allowed to recover from.
Other Therapy Services at Balanced Connection Counseling
Burnout isn’t just about being tired. It’s the slow buildup of pressure, perfectionism, and anxiety that makes it hard to feel like you can ever stop. When you’re used to holding it all together, even therapy can feel like another thing you have to get “right.” But healing doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from learning to loosen the grip of those patterns that keep you stuck. That’s why I offer more than just Therapy for Perfectionists, I also provide Therapy for Anxiety, Therapy for Burnout, and Therapy for People-Pleasing to help you recognize when you’re overextending, shift what’s not working, and start making room for yourself again. If you’re running on fumes and not sure how to slow down, therapy can be a place to reset and find your way forward, without the pressure to have it all figured out.