The Power of Feeling Your Feelings: A Guide to Emotional Health and Resilience
Do you find yourself dodging your feelings? Maybe you crack a joke or brush off what you're going through when you really just want to cry. Or perhaps you scroll through your phone or binge a comfort show whenever you have a moment to yourself. If this sounds familiar, you’re definitely not alone. For many of us, facing our emotions can feel really tough. But recognizing and embracing those feelings is so important for our emotional health and resilience.
Why Do We Avoid Emotions?
Let’s be real—feeling emotions can be uncomfortable. Many of us avoid emotions because diving deep into them, or even just the idea of sitting with them, can feel overwhelming. In our fast-paced, high-pressure world, especially here in New York, there are countless distractions that make it easy to sidestep what we’re really feeling. Often, this avoidance stems from childhood lessons; we might have grown up learning that expressing emotions wasn’t safe or acceptable, or that some emotions are shameful. Perhaps we had caregivers or families who needed us to be strong, or we were simply too busy with extracurricular activities to sit with our feelings. For some, there’s a fear of vulnerability—worrying that if we start to feel, we might become a burden to others or that we won't be able to recover from those feelings.
While it might seem like avoiding emotions gives us control, it often just leads to an overwhelming pileup of unaddressed feelings. Emotions can be confusing and conflicting, and for people-pleasers in particular, prioritizing the needs of others can make it even harder to acknowledge their own feelings. The reality is that dodging emotions doesn't make them disappear; it just pushes them down until they become harder to manage.
Why It’s Essential to Embrace Your Emotions—and What Happens When You Don’t
Understanding the importance of embracing your emotions is essential for emotional health. Ignoring emotions might seem like a quick fix, but it can really backfire and lead to some pretty significant setbacks. Let’s explore a few reasons why feeling your feelings matters and what can happen if you choose to avoid them:
Feeling in Control: Embracing emotions keeps you grounded. Sure, avoiding feelings might seem to help in the moment, but it often leads to feeling even less in control later, especially when real issues are still lurking beneath the surface.
Clearing the Emotional Clutter: Acknowledging emotions prevents buildup. Ignored feelings don’t just disappear; they stack up, making them harder to deal with down the road. Embracing your feelings helps keep your emotional landscape clear and manageable.
Responding, Not Reacting: Processing feelings reduces overreactions. Keeping your feelings bottled up can lead to strong reactions over minor issues, as real frustrations stem from unaddressed emotions. By feeling your feelings, you learn to respond more thoughtfully.
Building Confidence: Facing emotions reduces fear and shame. Avoiding feelings can ramp up fear and shame, chipping away at your confidence. Embracing your feelings helps build self-assurance and create deeper connections with others.
Cultivating Connections: Sharing feelings opens up support. When we don’t express how we feel, we miss out on the support we deserve, leading to isolation. Expressing emotions fosters connection and allows friends and family to step in and support you.
Strengthening Resilience: Confronting feelings builds your strength. Facing emotions is like flexing a muscle; it shows you that you can handle tough stuff. Ignoring them can leave you feeling stuck and overwhelmed.
Creating Change: Engaging with emotions fuels action. Ignoring feelings keeps you stuck, making it harder to take steps toward change, leading to more anxiety and burnout. Embracing your feelings empowers you to take actionable steps forward.
Supporting Your Health: Acknowledging feelings promotes well-being. Suppressing emotions can show up in physical ways—like tension, fatigue, or headaches—so giving your feelings attention is important for your overall health.
Encouraging Growth: Engaging with emotions fosters self-discovery. Not engaging with our feelings can hold back our personal growth and self-awareness. Getting to know our feelings helps us figure out what we really want.
Enhancing Empathy: Understanding your feelings improves relationships. Avoiding emotions limits our ability to empathize with others. Feeling your emotions is crucial for building strong, meaningful connections.
Making Informed Decisions: Embracing emotions clarifies your choices. Ignoring feelings can cloud judgment, making it tougher to make choices that truly align with your values. Engaging with your feelings helps you make decisions that reflect who you are and what you need.
What Does It Really Mean to Feel My Feelings?
So, you're probably wondering, "Okay, but how do I actually feel my feelings?" Great question! It's all about taking those first steps to acknowledge and process what's going on inside. Here are a couple of straightforward ways to get started:
Acknowledging Emotions
First things first—tune in to what you're feeling. If you're not quite sure or need something concrete to help you identify or sort through them, using a feelings wheel or an app can really help. Remember, all feelings are valid—yes, even the messy, conflicting ones! So, practice acknowledging your feelings without judging them (or yourself).
Processing Emotions
Once you've figured out how you feel, take some time to dive a little deeper. Explore what's behind those emotions, how they connect to your experiences, and what they might reveal about your needs. Aim to embrace these emotions as part of your journey, rather than something to push away.
Remember that you don’t have to stay stuck in the emotions all day—you can start by giving yourself a set amount of time to sit with and process your feelings, maybe identifying an activity you can do afterwards to shift back into other parts of your routine. Once you get used to the experience of acknowledging and processing your emotions, it’ll get easier to move through them.
Okay, You’ve Convinced Me It’s Helpful to Feel My Feelings. What’s Next?
So, you’re on board with feeling your feelings (at least sort of)—great! Now, let’s dive into some practical steps to help you get started on this journey. Here are a few simple ways to begin embracing your emotions and making them a part of your everyday life:
Labeling Emotions: Get into the habit of naming your feelings regularly. Using a feelings app or keeping a feelings wheel bookmarked on your phone or laptop can be helpful for those times you need a little reminder.
Journaling: Grab a notebook and jot down your thoughts and feelings, ideally on a regular basis. It’s a great way to explore what’s really going on inside.
Talking to Others: Don’t underestimate the power of sharing. Talk it out with trusted friends or family—getting it off your chest can lighten the load.
Mindfulness Practices: Give mindfulness or guided meditation a try to help you stay present with your emotions. It’s all about being with your feelings instead of running from them.
Physical Activity: Get moving! Whether it’s a walk, a workout, or dancing in your living room, physical activity can help you shake off or process those emotions.
Engaging in Creativity: Dive into something creative, like art or music. Expressing yourself in this way can be really freeing.
Body Scan: Try a body scan meditation to connect with how your emotions manifest physically. It’s a great way to tune into your body’s signals.
Therapy: If you’re feeling stuck, working with a therapist can be a total game-changer. A therapist can provide the support you need to navigate your feelings more effectively.
How Can I Keep Going When It Feels Overwhelming?
Navigating your emotions can feel like a lot sometimes, but there are ways to handle the overwhelm. First, remember your strength; you’ve handled tough emotions before, and you can do it again. Try to reframe the experience as an empowering journey rather than a burden. Practicing self-compassion is key—be kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Deep breathing can help calm your mind and body, making it easier to face those feelings head-on. Be sure to take your time, and go as slowly as you need to, as you get used to the process of feeling your feelings. And don’t hesitate to seek support; leaning on friends, family, or a therapist when things feel like too much can make a huge difference. You’ve got this!
Feeling our feelings is essential for emotional health and resilience. When we truly embrace our emotions, we not only encourage personal growth but also strengthen our connections with others. So, go ahead—give yourself permission to feel. You might be surprised at how it transforms your life for the better!
Ready to Embrace Your Emotions and Enhance Your Well-Being? Online Therapy for Anxiety and Burnout Can Help!
If you’re ready to dive deeper into your feelings, I’m here to help! I specialize in helping women who are struggling to navigate the challenges of anxiety, burnout, and people-pleasing. Together, we can develop effective strategies for a more fulfilling life. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward positive change!