Enjoy Summer Without the Burnout: Tips for a Balanced Season

Summer often comes with its own set of expectations—social gatherings, spending time outdoors, and making the most of the long days. While summer can feel like a welcome opportunity to get out and have fun, it can also bring a sense of added pressure, especially for those of us who struggle with anxiety, people-pleasing tendencies, and burnout.

As we’re getting closer to the end of the season, you might notice that mounting feeling of pressure to enjoy the last few weeks of summer as much as possible. Whether you’re feeling pulled to say “yes” to plans because you feel like you need to fit in as much fun as possible before the colder, darker months return, or because saying “no” is difficult at any time of year, you’re not alone. But you might notice that overcommitting yourself often backfires, since it just leaves you feeling burned out and needing even more rest. And if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you don’t want to repeat that pattern this summer.

Here are some strategies to help you navigate these last few summer weeks without the burnout:

 1. Identify What’s Most Important to You

Start by identifying what you value, enjoy, and/or need most. Does spending time outdoors make you feel energized? Does staying in (or going out) with your partner, closest friends, or family help you feel grounded? If you’re being honest with yourself, have your body and mind been craving more rest? Think about who you most enjoy spending time with, and maybe even identify the people you feel obligated to see with but ultimately find draining to hang out with (no judgement here!).

 If it helps, you can write these out and rank them from most to least important (this is just about you right now, so rank these based on your priorities). This will give you a framework to help prioritize how and where you spend your time and energy.

2. Reframe Your Expectations

If your idea of “making the most” of summer is filling every day with experiences or commitments, but you’re noticing that you’re feeling drained and not enjoying all the plans as much as you thought, let’s redefine what a joyful summer looks like for you. Are you looking to check all the boxes on your list this summer or are you looking to truly enjoy your time? And if you can be really honest again, how much are you actually enjoying yourself when you pack your days or weeks with plans or activities? Remember that your capacity is limited (you’re human!), and committing to everything often isn’t realistic or even very fun.

3. Practice Saying No

If you self-identify as a people-pleaser (or maybe even if you don’t), saying no can be one of the biggest challenges. First, remember that it’s okay to tell the other person you need to check your calendar or consider how much energy you have before making plans. That gives you the chance to check back in with that list of your priorities before automatically saying “yes.” Plus, it’s often at least a little easier to say “no” later on, when you’re not put on the spot.

Next, I often recommend taking a few minutes to identify some polite but firm ways to say “no.” Having an idea ahead of time of what you could say, so you’re not scrambling to figure out the best way to phrase it in the moment, can help take some of the pressure off. You can even practice saying “no” with someone you trust, or maybe in the mirror if it’s really uncomfortable. And remember that another person’s disappointment typically isn’t a reflection of your kindness or worth.

4. Set Realistic Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential for managing your time and energy. Take a few minutes to identify how many events you can reasonably (and joyfully) attend or how much social interaction you can handle. Once you’ve done that, you can refer back to your list of what’s important if needed, to help prioritize where you spend your precious time and energy.

Now if you still need a bit of a motivator to say “no” a little more often, remember that if you don’t honor your needs or limits and you neglect taking care of yourself, your body will eventually make sure you do. And it probably won’t be on your terms.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

When we think about enjoying our summer, we often forget to integrate true self-care into our routine (or maybe we remember but we don’t prioritize it either way). Self-care is arguably one of the most important parts of our summer schedule. And I don’t just mean going to the nail salon or taking a bubble bath, though those can be fun and relaxing too. What I’m referring to when I say “self-care” is an ongoing practice of caring for yourself and your needs. That may include prioritizing hydration, rest and relaxation, a hobby you enjoy but don’t make enough time for, or therapy.

Self-care is not a luxury; it’s an essential component of maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical health. I recommend scheduling time each day for self-care so you can prioritize it and plan around it, rather than including it when it’s convenient.

6. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay grounded and help reduce feelings of anxiety and pressure. Focusing on the present moment allows you to shift your attention away from the pressure to meet external expectations and onto enjoying experiences that matter to you. Whether you practice focusing on your breath while engaging in deep breathing, checking in with your 5 senses, or listening to a guided mindfulness meditation, just a few minutes a day can help you stay connected to yourself and reduce stress.

7. Connect with Supportive People

Surround yourself with understanding, supportive friends or family who are likely to respect your boundaries. Sharing your need for downtime and rest with them allows them to be mindful of your limits, validate your needs, and maybe even hold you accountable by reminding you to take care of yourself.

8. Give Yourself Permission to Rest

We get enough pressure from the world around us to always do more. You don’t need to add to it by pressuring yourself into ignoring your mind and body’s need for rest. Remember that having downtime isn’t shameful (it’s important) and rest is a valuable part of your overall well-being. Your worth isn’t determined by how much you do, how many times you say “yes,” or even other people’s reactions (I know that’s a tough one!). You deserve a break, and you’re the only one who can truly give that to yourself. 

9. Be Kind to Yourself

It’s too easy to beat ourselves up for taking time for ourselves or letting others down. Managing the pressure to please others and meet expectations can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that you deserve to enjoy your summer just as much as anyone else. Be patient with yourself as you start practicing these skills, celebrate your unique experiences, and find joy in the moments that resonate with you!

Struggling to Navigate Summer Burnout? Therapy for People-Pleasers in New York Can Help!

If you’re struggling with people-pleasing tendencies, anxiety, or burnout and want some more support in navigating these challenges, I’m here to help. Together, we can work to implement these strategies and more to help you find balance and fulfillment in these last few weeks of summer and beyond.