Ditch the Guilt: Embracing Time Off for Anxiety Relief and Burnout Recovery
In our fast-paced world, where the demands of work and personal life often clash, many women find themselves grappling with a common yet deeply personal struggle: guilt and discomfort with using paid time off (PTO) or sick time. If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. This feeling is more common than we might expect, especially for women in New York dealing with anxiety, battling burnout, and/or navigating people-pleasing tendencies. Understanding this feeling and the barriers to prioritizing or enjoying time off can be the first step toward embracing self-care and setting healthier boundaries.
Here are a few practical strategies to help get you started on taking (and even embracing) your time off:
Identify the Source
Understanding the root of your discomfort is an important step toward healing. These feelings didn’t originate from within you; they were learned over time. By identifying the source, we can better address the issue and find more effective ways to manage it.
Why Do I Feel Guilty About Using PTO or Taking a Sick Day?
This sense of guilt often stems from various sources. For some, it’s the fear of falling behind or being perceived as less dedicated. For others, it’s a deep-seated belief that their worth is tied to their productivity. For people facing anxiety in New York, concerns about job security and managing life if they were to lose their job can add to the stress. Noticing that colleagues don’t take time off (or that they continue to work even while taking PTO), along with societal expectations that “powering through” is a sign of dedication, only reinforces the internal struggle.
Acknowledging the Pressure to Justify Time Off
The ongoing pressure to meet expectations—whether from ourselves, our bosses or colleagues, society, or all three—can make taking time off seem more like an indulgence than a necessity. On top of that, the thought of all the work piling up before and after time off can be overwhelming, making it even harder to justify taking a break. As a result, many of us can easily convince ourselves that taking a day off is more trouble than it’s worth. If you do decide to request that time off, you might find yourself over-explaining or falling back into people-pleasing tendencies. This constant balancing act between self-care and professional demands can leave us feeling trapped in a cycle of overwork and guilt.
Exploring the Roots of Your Guilt
Understanding where these feelings come from can give us a starting point for addressing them. Some issues might be tackled directly, for instance by having an open conversation with your boss about expectations. Other challenges, like those deep-seated beliefs about your worth, might require some more introspective work. In some cases, it might be worth considering whether bigger changes to your job structure could alleviate some of the stress. Therapy for burnout can support you in exploring your beliefs, identifying or navigating your options, and creating a healthier work-life balance.
Remember, identifying the source is not about self-blame but about gaining insight. From there, you can take compassionate steps toward creating a more manageable and fulfilling work life.
Normalize Your Feelings
It’s important to normalize your feelings. Truthfully, many of us experience guilt, fear, or discomfort when using PTO or sick time. Remember that this isn’t a reflection of your dedication or work ethic, but rather a reflection of the excessive pressures many of us experience, and a sign that you might be carrying more than your fair share of emotional and mental burden (at work and/or in your personal life).
While we’re certainly not machines, even machines need breaks and maintenance to run efficiently. Similarly, your body and mind need rest to function at their best. Recognizing that taking time off is an important part of maintaining emotional and physical well-being can help you shift your perspective and reprioritize how you spend your time and energy.
Start with Smaller Breaks
Taking time off might feel especially overwhelming if you’re not very attentive to your needs throughout the workday as it is. If you find yourself eating lunch at your desk, skipping meals, missing out on fresh air or sunlight, or even delaying bathroom breaks, let’s start by incorporating some smaller, more manageable breaks into your routine.
If you aren’t already, start by prioritizing your lunch break. Ideally, you’d be stepping away from your desk to eat, but even taking a brief pause from work during lunch can make a significant difference. Incorporating at least 1 or 2 short breaks throughout the day can also be useful—even 5 or 10 minutes will do. Use these breaks to walk around, stretch, take a few deep breaths, or connect with others. Prioritizing bathroom breaks, and using these opportunities for short mental breaks, is another simple but important way to take care of yourself. These small changes can help you begin creating a routine that supports your well-being and can allow you to gradually build comfort with taking more time off.
Restructure Your Approach to Time Off
Taking time off isn’t always straightforward, but it doesn’t have to be a struggle. Here are a few ways to rethink how you approach PTO and sick days:
Acknowledge the Value of Self-Care
Time off isn’t just a break from work; it’s an investment in your health and productivity. I often remind my clients that time off, and self-care in general, is a necessary part of our professional lives. Taking care of yourself allows you to bring your best self to both your work and your personal life.
Set Firm Boundaries with Kindness
Learning to set boundaries is an essential skill, especially if you already struggle with people-pleasing tendencies. Remember that setting boundaries isn’t about being rigid or ignoring other people’s needs. It’s about respecting your own limits and ensuring that you have the energy and well-being to give your best to other people and tasks. Communicating boundaries in kind but firm ways can initially feel uncomfortable, but ultimately can be empowering and life changing.
Communicate Openly
If you’re worried about how others will perceive your time off, you might find it helpful to communicate proactively with your team or manager. Transparent conversations about your needs, how you plan to manage your workload, and even how this time off can help you thrive at work can take off some of the pressure and demonstrate your commitment to your job in a balanced way.
Practice Self-Compassion
We’re often a lot harder on ourselves than we are on our loved ones, so practice treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Self-compassion involves acknowledging your humanity and recognizing that everyone needs a break. Self-care isn’t about self-indulgence—it’s about honoring your well-being.
Seek Professional Support
If guilt or discomfort around taking time off is significantly impacting your life, it might be helpful to talk with a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a supportive space to explore these feelings and develop helpful strategies to manage them.
Embrace the Importance of Rest
Ultimately, rest is a fundamental aspect of maintaining a balanced and healthy life. It’s about understanding that your well-being is the most important aspect of your life and that taking time off is a proactive way to sustain your mental, emotional, and physical health.
You deserve to take a break that’s free from guilt or discomfort. By embracing this, you’re not only caring for yourself—you’re also allowing yourself to show up more effectively for the people around you and setting a powerful example of self-respect and balance. Giving yourself space to pause and recharge allows you to come back stronger.
Struggling to Prioritize Rest and Time Off? Therapy for Anxiety and Burnout in New York Can Help!
If you’re struggling with guilt or discomfort around using your PTO or sick time and it’s impacting your life and well-being, I’m here to support you. Together, we can explore these feelings and work towards a healthier, more balanced approach to self-care and work-life balance.