New Year, Same Stress? Overcome Winter Burnout as a Perfectionist
You started this year maybe feeling a bit exhausted from all the holidays, but also re-energized and ready for a reset in the new year. You were excited about all the things you were going to do this year—all the changes you were going to make. But now, the holidays are long gone, and so is the excitement. It feels like winter might never end, and it’s getting tougher to keep up with the goals you set for the new year. You’re starting to wonder how you’re still going to make this year your year.
So many of us tend to lose steam around this time of year, even if we were so excited about a “fresh start” just a few weeks ago. New Year’s goals start to get lost around now, as we’ve settled back into our day-to-day lives. And those new habits? They’re tough to keep up with—especially if we’ve set a bunch of goals for ourselves all at the same time.
If you tend to get caught in perfectionistic patterns, this pattern might feel familiar. You might find yourself fighting it and trying to power through… or giving up entirely, instead of taking things step by step. Instead of getting caught in that same cycle, let’s talk about how to get back on track.
Why You’re Feeling Stuck and How Perfectionism Holds You Back
If you set a bunch of goals for yourself for this year, you were probably full of excitement and ambition. But if you went hard at the beginning, it’s no wonder you’re feeling like you’ve lost momentum. Habits need to be built gradually to really stuck and fit into our lives.
And let’s not forget about the toll of perfectionistic habits. If you didn’t truly take a break during the holidays—because your mind was consumed with getting everything “just right” or showing up for everyone—you’re likely still carrying some of that exhaustion or burnout. This makes achieving those big, shiny New Year’s goals feel even harder.
Perfectionism can also sabotage your progress with:
High expectations: Wanting everything done perfectly, quickly, and consistently, which can make even small tasks feel huge.
Burnout: Pushing too hard without pacing yourself or taking breaks, leading to exhaustion and loss of motivation.
Procrastination: Feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to perform perfectly, which can lead to putting things off altogether.
Overplanning: Spending so much time planning or organizing that you never get to the action steps, which can create a cycle of frustration and delayed progress.
We’re also fighting against the natural rhythm of winter. It’s gloomy, cold, and dark—a season when our bodies and minds crave coziness and rest. Instead, we’re trying to power through with relentless productivity, which only fuels feelings of failure when we inevitably fall short of our high expectations.
Tips to Reset
The good news is, it’s never too late to reset. Here are some tips I often share with my therapy clients to help refocus and move forward—without all the pressure.
Use CBT to Reframe Unrealistic Goals
You’re more than capable of reaching your goals, but your timeline or expectations might be working against you. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help by identifying and reshaping unhelpful thought patterns that may be holding you back.
For example, let’s say your goal is to take better care of yourself. If you define that as “completing a perfect self-care routine every single day,” CBT would help you challenge that all-or-nothing thinking.
Instead of feeling like you’ve failed if you miss one part of your routine (like skipping meditation or a walk), we’d work on reframing the belief that self-care has to be “perfect” to be valuable. You might replace that thought with something like: “Self-care is about consistency, not perfection. Even if I don’t complete everything I planned, small acts of care still count and contribute to my well-being.”
This approach allows you to approach self-care with flexibility, without feeling guilt when things don’t go exactly as planned. CBT can help you see self-care not as a set of rigid rules, but as a series of small, compassionate steps toward recharging. We might also explore breaking it down into achievable steps—like taking five minutes to rest or taking a walk outside when you’re feeling overwhelmed—rather than feeling pressure to do it “perfectly.”
In our therapy sessions, for instance, we might focus on:
Challenging “should” statements, like “I should already be better at this by now,” and replacing them with more compassionate and realistic self-talk.
Recognizing your progress, rather than fixating on what you haven’t accomplished yet.
Developing action plans that align with your values and goals, rather than unrealistic standards that set you up for frustration.
Set Realistic Goals and Take Small Steps
The key to lasting progress is breaking goals down into smaller, manageable steps (often even smaller than you initially think). This not only helps reduce procrastination but also gives you opportunities to celebrate wins along the way.
If you tend to rush or push too hard, only to burn out (even if you keep powering through), take a moment to reflect. Are you setting arbitrary deadlines or unrealistic expectations? Slowing down and pacing your efforts allows you to reassess as you go, instead of running headfirst into burnout.
Related read: New Year, New Mindset: Goal-Setting for the Anxious Perfectionist
Practice Mindfulness to Stay Present
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by big goals or to get stuck in what hasn’t gone perfectly. Mindfulness helps ground you in the present, making it easier to focus, enjoy the process, and feel steadier moving forward.
Try starting small:
Use a five-minute breathing exercise to center yourself.
Practice gratitude by jotting down three things that went well today.
Take a mindful walk, paying attention to your surroundings and how your body feels as you move.
Use Self-Compassion to Combat Self-Criticism
When is the last time self-criticism really worked for you?
And I don’t just mean getting things done—I mean, did it leave you feeling motivated and satisfied with your accomplishments? Sure, self-criticism might push you to act, but it often keeps you stuck in negativity and unhappiness. After finishing a task, you might still beat yourself up for not doing it perfectly or move straight to the next thing without celebrating your success.
On the other side, self-compassion might feel unfamiliar at first, but it’s a powerful motivator that helps you appreciate your efforts, acknowledge your humanity, and be kinder to yourself. It helps you break the cycle of self-criticism and build a healthier relationship with yourself.
Here are a few ways you can start practicing self-compassion:
Notice and celebrate your wins, even the small ones.
Identify and reflect on what's really holding you back (hint: it’s probably not laziness or incompetence).
Offer yourself the same understanding and encouragement you’d give a friend who’s struggling.
This time of year doesn’t have to feel like a battle against your own expectations. By resetting your approach and embracing strategies like reframing, mindfulness, and self-compassion, you can move forward with more ease and balance. Remember, progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about taking meaningful, manageable steps that align with your goals.
Looking for Extra Support? Therapy for Perfectionism in New York Can Help!
If you're ready to stop battling burnout and perfectionism, I'm here to support you. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and therapist for perfectionism in New York, I offer online therapy for anxious perfectionists and overachievers. Together, we can work on setting realistic, values-based goals while releasing the pressure to be perfect. Together, at my Garden City-based practice, we can work towards prioritizing your mental health while still honoring your ambition. Let's create a path to progress that feels both manageable and fulfilling.
Learn more about me and my services
Embrace self-compassion and realistic goals, and begin building a life that truly reflects your values—and brings you peace of mind.