How Anxious Perfectionists in NY Can Actually Enjoy a Day Off (Without Planning Every Minute)
When you think about having a day off, what do you picture? Is it a day that leaves you feeling refreshed and recharged, or one that you end up filling with chores or stressing about how to make the most of it? Maybe you spend the whole day stressing about how to make it "count" and end up feeling like you didn’t really enjoy it or, even worse, didn’t do anything at all. As a therapist working with anxious perfectionists in New York, I see this struggle all the time.
Living in New York, where there’s always something happening and everyone around you seems busy, it can feel especially hard to fully relax. If you’ve ever felt excited about a day off only to get hit with the pressure of “I need to make the most of this day off!” or “I won’t have another day off for a while, so I need to fit in as much as possible,” I totally get it—and you’re not alone. Many of my clients share that same frustration of trying to balance enjoying time off with the pressure to do everything in the time they have. This is where therapy for anxious perfectionists can be especially helpful. As it offers space to untangle the pressure, explore what rest actually looks like for you, and learn to approach downtime without guilt.
If you’re someone who struggles with guilt about taking a day off, I wrote a whole blog post about that. But if you’ve already got the time off and you’re wondering how to actually enjoy it without micromanaging every minute, keep reading! I’ll walk you through some simple (though maybe not always easy) ways to embrace your time off, relax, and truly recharge—without feeling like you have to plan out every minute.
Why It’s So Hard for Anxious Perfectionists to Enjoy a Day Off
Enjoying a day off can be tough, especially for anxious perfectionists. Between family expectations, the fast pace of New York, and all the pressure we put on ourselves, it’s easy to struggle with actually enjoying a break. Here are a few reasons why:
There’s always more to do. With an endless to-do list, taking a day off can feel like falling behind. But the reality is, there will always be more to do. Taking a break doesn’t change that—it’s a chance to recharge so you can tackle things later.
Guilt about taking time off. It might be hard to feel like you deserve a break when others need you, or when you’re worried about extra work piling up. That guilt can keep you from fully relaxing, especially if part of you feels like you need to "make up for it” by not totally letting go.
Worry about what’s next: It’s easy to spend your day off thinking about the pile of work or responsibilities waiting for you when you get back. That constant nagging feeling that you’re going to have to catch up on everything can make it hard to fully be in the moment. Instead of relaxing, you’re already mentally preparing for what comes after.
The pressure to relax "the right way." If you’re used to doing everything “right,” even a day off can feel like a task. You might spend the whole time stressing about the "best" way to enjoy your day, whether that’s planning every minute or overthinking every decision. But when you put so much pressure on yourself to make the day perfect, it ends up taking you out of the moment.
Fear of enjoying yourself too much. You might worry that if you really let go and enjoy your day off, you’ll enjoy it “too much” and won’t be able to get back on track with your goals. That fear can make it harder to fully embrace the time off you need.
Why Actually Enjoying a Day Off Is So Important
Taking time off—and allowing yourself to really enjoy it—is key to feeling more satisfied with your life. We’re often so focused on reaching the next goal, thinking that once we get there, we’ll finally be able to relax. But if we never give ourselves permission to rest, how can we ever truly enjoy the rewards of all our hard work? There will always be more things to do, so if we keep pushing breaks aside, we’ll just be chasing the next task endlessly.
Taking breaks is also key to preventing burnout. No matter how good you are at powering through, eventually your body and mind will need a break. So why wait until you hit that wall? Giving yourself regular time off helps keep you healthy and energized in the long run.
And here’s the thing: taking time off is also a way of reminding yourself that you’re worth the time. You don’t have to earn rest, and you definitely don’t have to justify it. Allowing yourself to take a break reminds you that you deserve that space to recharge and that you’re important enough to take care of.
Practical Tools from a Therapist to Enjoy Your Day Off
Here are some tips to help you actually enjoy your day off, without the pressure to plan every second:
Think ahead, but keep it flexible.
It’s helpful to have a loose idea of how you want to spend your day, but try not to over-schedule. Planning a little helps—so you’re not scrambling at the last minute or just sitting there wondering what to do all day—but you still want to leave room for spontaneity and ease.
Figure out what actually feels relaxing for you.
Let’s imagine your to-do list was totally clear—your home is spotless, inbox at 0, and you’ve checked in with all your people—what would you want to do with your time? If nothing comes to mind, no worries! I’ll share some ideas in the next section to get you started.
Reframe time off as productive.
Rest isn’t a waste of time—it’s part of staying healthy and functioning well. Think of your downtime as a necessary part of your long-term productivity.
Let go of picking the “perfect” activity.
You don’t need to choose the “perfect” or most “relaxing” thing to do. Anything you pick is fine, so take the pressure off. You can even pick something at random!
Don’t overpack your day.
One or two activities is plenty. You don’t need to fit everything into one day—in fact, adding more will probably just add stress.
Use general time blocks instead of a strict schedule.
Instead of scheduling everything down to the minute, just think about when you want to do things—like “late morning” or “early afternoon”—and leave some breathing room in between. This gives you some flexibility without feeling rushed.
Choose low-pressure activities.
Look for things that don’t have a set time limit, like walking through a park or reading a book. You can even pick a place that’s open late, so you don’t feel rushed.
Keep your phone away.
Try to leave your phone in your bag for part of the day. This helps you stay in the moment without distractions.
Let yourself make mistakes.
If you end up overplanning or start feeling stressed, don’t beat yourself up. Just notice it, learn from it, and adjust next time—no judgment!
Try not to think about tomorrow.
It’s easy to focus on everything coming up after your day off. Instead, try to stay in the moment. If you catch yourself thinking ahead, gently refocus back to how you’re feeling right now. Planning what you’ll do the day after your day off (ahead of time) can also help keep your mind from wandering.
Give yourself something to look forward to.
If this is your only day off in a while, of course you feel extra pressure to make it count! To take some of that pressure off, plan your next day off ahead of time, or plan some smaller, relaxing breaks soon after (even just a few 15-minute breaks in your day counts).
Some Great Spots to Spend a Day Off
If you’re wondering where to spend your day off or what to do, think about places that let you relax without feeling the pressure to “do” something. We all rest differently, so whether you’re into calm, quiet spaces or more lively areas, there are plenty of spots that allow for rest and spontaneity.
I talk about some places you can go to feel less overwhelmed in another blog post, but here are some ideas on how to bring that into a relaxing day off:
Parks:
Parks are perfect for walking around without any agenda. Whether you’re people-watching, reading, or just taking in nature and letting your mind wander, it’s a great way to step away from everyday stress. Central Park, Prospect Park, or smaller spots like Gantry Plaza State Park can offer a peaceful break from the pressure to be productive.
Bookstores or libraries:
Wandering through a bookstore or library with no specific goal can be really calming. The New York Public Library on 5th Ave is great for some all-day wandering and comfortable reading, and independent bookstores like WORD in Brooklyn are perfect for a cozy escape.
Wander around your neighborhood or explore somewhere new:
Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery. Whether you stick close to home or head further out, there’s something relaxing about just walking around without a plan. Take a long walk down 7th Ave from Midtown to SoHo, wander through St. Mark’s Place for good food and unique shops, or head to Astoria for a laid-back vibe and more good food. If you’re looking for something quieter and more nature-focused, head to an area like Inwood to slow down and take in the sights and sounds.
Local markets:
Markets are another great way to unwind. Grand Bazaar, the Union Square Greenmarket, and Queens Night Market are some good spaces to just browse for fun. Don’t make it about being productive—just let yourself enjoy the experience.
Classes or workshops:
If a little structure is helpful—especially if you’re not used to having a totally free-flowing day—a class or workshop can be a great anchor for your day. Pottery, cooking, or any creative class can be a fun outlet. Brooklyn Brainery has a great mix of options, or check out some local classes.
Your home!
If you’re not up for going out, your home can be a great place to relax and unwind too (as long as you don’t get too caught up with chores or tasks). Try something creative like an art project (with no pressure to make it perfect!), a DIY spa day, or cooking a new recipe just for fun.
Learning to actually enjoy your time off takes practice, but these tips are a great way to start. It might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but giving yourself permission to relax and enjoy your time off is an important part of maintaining your well-being. So don’t keep putting it off. Start small, try a few of these strategies, and over time, you’ll find yourself really appreciating your downtime—yes, even as an anxious perfectionist! And if this still feels like a struggle, therapy for anxious perfectionists can give you space to explore what’s getting in the way and learn how to actually let yourself rest.
Ready to Actually Enjoy a Day Off? Therapy for Anxious Perfectionists in New York Can Help
If every day off turns into another opportunity to plan, optimize, or catch up, you’re not alone. For anxious perfectionists, even rest can start to feel like a performance. But therapy doesn’t have to be one more thing on your to-do list—it can be a space to step back, tune into what you really need, and start rewriting the rules that make it so hard to slow down. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor specializing in therapy for perfectionists, I help clients challenge the pressure to always be doing and create space for real, guilt-free rest.
Learn more about me and my services
You don’t have to earn rest. With therapy for anxious perfectionists in New York, you can start learning to take it.
Other Therapy Services at Balanced Connection Counseling
Perfectionism rarely exists on its own. It often overlaps with anxiety, burnout, and people-pleasing—patterns that can quietly drain your energy and make it hard to prioritize yourself. That’s why I offer more than just Therapy for Anxious Perfectionists. I also provide Therapy for Anxiety, Therapy for Burnout, and Therapy for People-Pleasing to help you gently explore what’s behind the pressure, find clarity in the noise, and create space to breathe. If you’ve been feeling pulled in a hundred directions and unsure where to start, therapy for anxious perfectionists in New York can be a grounding place to begin. You're allowed to slow down—and you're allowed to get support.